For a tour of Old Town Chiang Mai, we used GuruWalk which allows visitors to connect directly with local people who share their town and knowledge for a donation. Our guide, San, grew up in Chiang Mai before briefly leaving for Bangkok for university and then returning to his home town. Chiang Mai is filled with temples or Wats - 300 in the area and 60 within the small Old Town square. Around every turn you stumble upon an ornate and ancient temple. San spent most of our time at Wat Inthakin Sadeu Muang which is important because it was established by a former king. Like all royal temples, the Wat included a temple where the Buddha's relics (ashes) are stored, an ordination hall where monks graduate, an education center (this one offered a college degree), and many beautiful grounds filled with very tall rubber trees.
You could see how the temple was built up over the years, with very old parts, some of which had crumbled under an earlier earthquake, and newer shiny golden parts made possible through more recent large donations. Over the years different cultures donated to, and influenced the temples, including small statues of each of the Chinese zodiac signs. To get in, we each paid a small donation, covered our shoulders and knees in respect, and took off our shoes and hats. We noticed a small pair of very shiny red boots outside of the temple.
In the first temple, only men were allowed in. In the past, the Buddhist leaders prohibited women from entering due to their menstruation. The temple has continued this tradition. This led, of course, to many questions from our kids. San also described that there are very few female monks in Thailand because it is very difficult for women to be ordained. While male monks have over 200 rules to follow, women have over 400; women monks are not considered qualified until they visit Sri Lanka for training (men have no such requirement). And monthly head shavings have to take place by the most senior male monk, but men are not allowed to touch women, creating a challenge if women are studying to become monks at the monastery. These rules and this disparity seemed specific to Thailand, as there were many female monks or nuns at the monastery we visited in Taiwan.
On the other hand, once inside the (co-ed) temples, the environment was very accepting. Buddhists welcomed non-buddhists to enter and to learn about Buddhism. San taught us how to honor in prayer (3 bows) and shared more about the philosophy. Buddhists believe in three poisons: greed, desire, and anger that lead to suffering. Practices to alleviate and avoid these poisons include awareness, emotion regulation, and mindfulness. In short - doing things good for you and good for others (people and other living beings).
Many of the lessons resonated. I've been striving for mindfulness and equanimity for some time (irony intended). Yet such vices are hard to shake. During the tour, the kids got ravenously hungry; I gave them a crumbled granola bar; they fought over who got more; I got angry: greed, desire, and anger all in one small interaction.
The best part of the tour was the "chat with a monk" station. Picnic tables set up under tents welcomed guests to sit down and meet with a monk. We could ask any questions - a freedom that created some awkwardness at first but was generally awesome. I love visiting these beautiful places, but I always wish there was a chance to be in greater conversation with those living and practicing in these spaces without being intrusive. This was our chance! The only rule was that no women could sit directly next to him.
Our monk had lived at the monastery since he was 14 and was now in his 8th year and finishing his college degree in software engineering. All men in the community are encouraged to spend some time as a monk, but no one is expected to commit their entire life unless that is what they decide is right for them. Our monk planned to leave the monastery after getting his degree - he wanted to some day have a family- but he was clear that he was taking it day by day and listening for what was next for him. Grayson asked what he did for fun - cooking. All food at the monastery is provided through donations from the community. Offerings are made at the start of every day when the monks do their walk through town; larger donations are made when people pass, as giving to the temple is highly valued. Ellen asked about younger monks - he described that monks as young as 8 can join the monastery and often come there when they are orphaned or their family can no longer provide for them; the monastery can offer a home and community but also a route to opportunity through education. Charlie asked about his motivation for joining the monastery - he shared that he wanted to truly live out his beliefs and know his faith intimately. I asked how he practiced mindfulness with so many distracting thoughts and beeping phones - he shared that he does have a cell phone :) and shared his meditation practice and breath work by focusing on the tip of his nose. It was was rare to get to sit down with a stranger only for the purpose of understanding their beliefs and lifestyle, and it was wonderful.
On the way out, we passed a young girl doing a photoshoot (the owner of the shiny red boots from earlier). We passed candles where people had left prayers to Buddha. San shared the tensions around such things. Praying for wealth or success, in his opinion, was a form of desire. He instead preferred prayers of thanks with no asks attached. - Kim
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